Thursday, August 27, 2009

Now, be careful what you say, won't you?

WELL IT is good to see that some taxpayer-funded quangos in the UK can point out to the rest of us what words and phrases aren't acceptable anymore. You know, it really is so difficult keeping up with what we should and shouldn't say these days.

So, in case you didn't know, only insensitive Neanderthals still use expressions like "gentlemen's agreement" (women can agree on things too, stupid man!) and "black sheep of the family" (because black people aren't bad...or like sheep...or something). But, you know, I don't think the likes of the The Learning and Skills Council (wow, learning and skills) went far enough in their pronouncements. We, as a civilised society - all sanitised and lemon-fresh - must endeavour to remove all offensive speech from our lexicon.

First of all, 'hay' kind of rhymes with 'gay', which reminds one of the farmyard - as though homosexuals have something in common with livestock. The outrage.

Clearly, 'hay', along with other '-ay' words will have to be eradicated.

And, then, there is that odious phrase to do with counting chickens. What right do we have to do anything, count or otherwise, to chickens without their consent? Homo sapien arrogance once again.

Until our everyday speech resembles a transcript from "Barney the Dinosaur", injustice and hurt will continue unabated. And, non-dinosaur readers, no offence is intended.